Newberg parents worry their children are forgetting how to actually talk to people.

That’s one of the things School Superintendent Kym LeBlanc-Esparza is hearing as she asks parents and staff about what Newberg’s youth must learn in order to thrive in the 21st century.

In every conversation so far, participants emphasize “the art of face-to-face communication,” said LeBlanc-Esparza, recounting her own story of driving four young soccer players who quietly texted each other in the car instead of talking.

 Social and reflective skills are what excite people most in these 21st century meetings when LeBlanc-Esparza asks them to list what students should learn in this rapidly   changing world.

It might seem technology would be at the forefront of the list. But at the Oct. 22 session at Chehalem Valley Middle School, the “Information, Media and Technology” category got a mere 12 comments.

The “Life and Career Skills” category got nearly four times as many, ranging from personal finance, health care, cooking, and understanding the roles of “voter” and “global citizen,” to curiosity, wonder and “Work with hands on physical objects (not just cyber-poke at images).”

It’s been like that at every meeting so far, LeBlanc-  Esparza said. While all participants emphasize the basics of reading, writing, math and science, the more creative answers reflect what parents think “kids these days” may be missing: “communicate with people unlike themselves,” “define/re-define problems (not just solve pre-formulated ones),” “ask deep questions of the world,” “empathy and compassion for self and others,” and “creative ways to deal with conflict.”

Shorter answers include time management, patience, perseverance, collaboration, morality and “balance in life.”

A number of people emphasized the importance of speaking a second language as well, perhaps aware of the “What do you call someone who speaks only one language?” joke. (“American” is the answer.)

During the gatherings, LeBlanc-Esparza also gives participants a chance to talk about the best and worst of what Newberg’s schools have to offer.

People highlighted the hard-working staff, especially teachers’ deep knowledge of their students and willingness to help them after school. Others praised creative curriculum options, school-parent communication and high expectations.

A few subjects got both praised and slammed. While a number of people mentioned co-curricular offerings such as drama and music, several of the CVMS participants said those areas didn’t get enough support. Their “budgets are slashed inhumanely,” said Sydney Lehman Steen. “We tithe to the band program” to help make up the lost funds.

Many lower-ability children don’t get to take such electives because they have to focus more heavily on the basics, said another woman. That can be a big problem, she said, because “sometimes that’s what keeps a kid in school — the love of band or the love of shop.”

Other educational barriers listed by participants included: large class sizes, unfairly “categorizing” Hispanic students, scant attention to students who might not be interested in college, and teachers who are technologically slow.

In some technology cases, “our students are teaching our teachers,” said parent Carrie Looney.

LeBlanc-Esparza also asked how parents can help their children. Reading in the home, suggested one participant. Asking each person around the dinner table to “Tell me one thing you learned today,” said another.

Although LeBlanc-Esparza meets with parents and staff separately, their responses have been remarkably similar, said Claudia Stewart, a spokeswoman for the school district. The responses are all being compiled and will eventually help shape the district’s vision, mission, goals and strategic plan.

The next parent session is from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Thursday in the Mountain View Middle School library and is open to parents of children from all schools. To view a schedule of the final four sessions, go to www. newberg.k12.or.us/district/ community-conversations-superintendent-kym-leblanc-esparza.

Story by Jill Smith, Newberg Graphic